I was proud of my decision to open my first stocks & shares Isa this week. I even posted a smug tweet, boasting about how I'd be cutting back on espresso martinis and funnelling my money into the markets instead. Clever, clever me.
But the actual experience brought me back down to earth with a thud.
First off, choosing a broker was a total nightmare. Their charging structures are wildly complex, and they all claim to be the cheapest. Anyone with a brain can figure out they're not.
For investors making small, regular payments like me, making the wrong choice can result in platform fees carving large chunks out of your money - and that's before funds charges kick in. Someone investing £200 a month in funds, for example, would be charged £105 a year more by Alliance Trust than Charles Stanley. And if they bought investment trusts or shares with half that money, they'd pay £194.30 a year more for using Barclays Stockbrokers than TD Direct.
I only know this because I asked a team of expert analysts at the Platforum to crunch the numbers. How any ordinary person could reasonably be expected to work this out, unassisted, is beyond me.
Trawling through the internet like little lost puppies is likely to lead to many first-time investors losing patience and plumping for the prettiest website or a gimmicky offer - or - giving up on investing and sticking with a lousy cash account.
Even with a gaggle of experts on speed dial, wondering into making a bad choice was still too easy.
I was immediately drawn to Charles Stanley, which has a low platform charge of 0.25 per cent and offers free funds dealing. I'd only pay £3.00 a year in platform fees if I invested £200 a month in funds. I was about to open an account, but then I discovered it charges £10 per trade for shares and has no discount for regular dealing - unlike some of its competitors. For a regular investor who wants to buy shares at some point, that's a game changer.
My next choice was TD Direct, which is really cheap for regular investing in funds and shares. From a cost perspective I was confident I'd made a good choice, so I went ahead and signed up for an account. But from the word go I was finding it difficult to navigate. However, I put this down to my own haplessness and carried on.
To buy funds I first had to tick a box to say I'd read the relevant Key Investment Information Documents (KIIDs). Fair enough, I thought. But a "technical error" meant they were unable to download.
And to add insult to injury, when I clicked "buy", I discovered the funds I wanted had a minimum investment of £200 a month each, despite TD advertising a minimum of £50 for regular funds investing (my budget per fund). I really would have appreciated a warning that not all funds are available within my budget, before I signed up.
Anyway, I called the helpline hoping this was some kind of mistake. But the customer services operator avoided answering the question, dogmatically reading from a script.
By this point I'd spent about an hour on a 0845 helpline and still hadn't invested a penny. So I gave up, called the press office, and asked for my account to be closed.
Now I'm switching to a Hargreaves Lansdown regular invest Isa, and I'm seriously hoping it lives up to its reputation for impeccable customer service. Because actually putting my money where my mouth is and investing has made me realise its value.
Financial services firm True Potential says only 7 per cent of under 35s have a stocks & shares Isa. After my experience getting one, I can't say I'm surprised. I imagined investing for the first time would be easy and exciting. I can honestly say I'm bitterly disappointed. I'm not going to give up my espresso martinis to buy tracker funds unless I feel good about doing it, and I suspect I'm not the only one.
If online brokers want to attract more first-time investors, they would do well to remember that.
